Iowa members of the John Birch Society: Entertainment

Beijing moon

Mon, 18 Aug 2008 01:15:00 GMT

Taken by our China reporter

Butterfly

Mon, 18 Aug 2008 00:37:25 GMT

Bigfoot rides again! (May be too intense for younger viewers)

Sun, 17 Aug 2008 23:42:32 GMT

To: IowaJohnBirchSociety@msn.com

Sent: Friday, August 15, 2008 9:59 PM

Subject: I just saw it on CNN.com: Georgia men defend Bigfoot body claims!

* Please note, the sender's email address has not been verified.

Bigfoot link

Click the following to access the sent link:

Georgia men defend Bigfoot body claims - CNN.com*


Get your EMAIL THIS Browser Button and use it to email content from any Web site. Click here for more information.

*This article can also be accessed if you copy and paste the entire address below into your web browser.
http://www.cnn.com/2008/US/08/15/bigfoot.body/index.html

These are your cats, these are your cats on drugs

Sun, 10 Aug 2008 01:59:54 GMT

These are your cats, these are your cats on drugs

Very funny photo of 'Barry' at...

Wed, 06 Aug 2008 00:54:25 GMT

There is a very funny photo of Barack Obama at

http://bouphonia.blogspot.com/

They call it "Obama bin Laden", they have him in a

beard and turban.

Really wanted to use that photo. Too easy.

Put out by Republicans at www.metrospy.com

Cute is cute. But, they all miss the mark with Barry.

Like I have said before, it ain't his preacher, it ain't

his wife, it ain't his funny name. Its him.

He has the record, that gets him rated, as the Senate's

#1 gun grabber, and the #1 baby killer.

That's why you don't want to vote for Barry.

Q & A from AARP

Thu, 31 Jul 2008 10:20:24 GMT

These are funny!

Questions and answers from AARP

Q: Where can men over the age of 50 find younger, sexy women who are
interested in them?
A: Try a bookstore ... under fiction.

Q: What can a man do while his wife is going through menopause?
A: Keep busy. If you're handy with tools, you can finish the basement.
When you are done you will have a place to live.

Q: Someone has told me that menopause is mentioned in the Bible. Is
that true? Where can it be found?
A: Yes. Matthew 14:92: 'And Mary rode Joseph's ass all the way to
Egypt '

Q: How can you increase the heart rate of your 50+ year old husband?
A: Tell him you're pregnant.

Q: How can you avoid that terrible curse of the elderly .. wrinkles?
A: Take off your glasses

Q: Seriously! What can I do for these crow's feet and all those
wrinkles on my face?
A: Seriously? Go braless. It will usually pull them out.

Q: Why should 50+ year old people use valet parking?
A: Valets don't forget where they park your car.

Q: Is it common for 50+ year olds to have problems with short term
memory storage?
A: Storing memory is not a problem, retrieving it is a problem.

Q: As people age, do they sleep more soundly?
A: Yes, but usually in the afternoon.

Q: Where should 50+ year olds look for eye glasses?
A: On their foreheads.

Q: What is the most common remark made by 50+ year olds when they enter
antique stores?
A: 'Gosh, I remember these.'

More irreplaceable internet humor

Thu, 31 Jul 2008 00:46:22 GMT

HOW TO INSTALL A HOME SECURITY SYSTEM

1. Go to a secondhand store and buy a pair of used men's work boots,
size 14-16.

2. Put them on your front porch, along with a copy of Guns & Ammo
magazine.

3. Place a few giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazine.

4. Leave a note on your door that reads:

Hey Bubba:

Big Jim, Duke, Slim, and I went for more ammunition. Back in an hour.
Don't mess with the pit bulls -- they attacked the mailman this
morning and messed him up real bad. I don't think Killer took part in
it, but it was hard to tell from all the blood. I locked all four of
'em in the house. Better wait outside.

Johnnie Jack

Prison vs Work

Tue, 29 Jul 2008 01:45:01 GMT

Just in case you ever get these two environments mixed up, this comparison chart should make things a little bit clearer:

@ PRISON

You spend most of your time in a 10X10 cell

@ WORK

You spend most of your time in a 6X6 cubicle

@ PRISON

You get three fully paid for meals a day

@ WORK

You get a break for one meal, and you have to pay for it

@ PRISON

For good behavior, you get time off

@ WORK

For good behavior,you get more work

@ PRISON

The guard locks and unlocks all the doors for you

@ WORK

You must carry a security card and open all the doors yourself

@ PRISON

You can watch TV and play games

@ WORK

You could get fired for watching
TV and playing games

@ PRISON

You get your own toilet

@ WORK

You have to share the toilet with
people who pee on the seat

@ PRISON

They allow your family and friends to visit

@ WORK

You aren't even supposed
to speak to your family

@ PRISON

All expenses are paid by the taxpayers with no work required on your part

@ WORK

You must pay all your expenses to go
to work, and they deduct taxes from
your salary to pay for prisoners

@ PRISON

You spend most of your life inside bars wanting to get out

@ WORK

You spend most of your time wanting
to get out and go inside bars

@ PRISON

You must deal with sadistic wardens

@ WORK

They are called 'managers'

THERE IS SOMETHING SERIOUSLY WRONG WITH THIS PICTURE.

More RAGBRAI fun!

Sun, 27 Jul 2008 20:46:11 GMT

Refreshments in Ames

Canine supervision

At the ready!

The loveable "Banana Head"

Even the hard of hearing enjoyed the show.

The cutest RAGBRAI rider.

From the "sucker born every minute" file...

Sun, 27 Jul 2008 19:34:02 GMT

http://blogs.govexec.com/fedblog/2008/07/astronaut_aliens_are_real_1.php

Astronaut: Aliens Are Real
By Tom Shoop | Friday, July 25, 2008 | 10:16 AM

Well, the conspiracy had to crack sometime.

Edgar Mitchell, an astronaut on Apollo 14 and the sixth man to walk on the moon, told Kerrang! Radio this week that we're not alone in the universe and the government knows all about it.

"I happen to have been privileged enough to be in on the fact that we've been visited on this planet and the UFO phenomena is real," he said. ...

This is really the tip of the iceberg. Not only has Mitchell come forward, but former Mercury Astronaut Gordon Cooper stated that an alien spacecraft landed at Edwards Airforce Base while he was on duty there.

In addition, the former Governor of Arizona, Fife Symington, said that the object hovering over Phoenix in 1997 was an 'alien spacecraft':

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JMfEV5qATrY

Eric | Friday, July 25, 2008 | 01:18 PM

http://blogs.govexec.com/fedblog/2008/07/astronaut_aliens_are_real_1.php

Little Green Men

Balloon dog on Jay Leno (Pulled off You Tube!)

Sun, 27 Jul 2008 19:04:08 GMT

(Iowa JBS note: This video was pulled off You Tube, by I assume Leno, for those who

didn't see it- it was funny!)

help center | e-mail options | report spam

has shared a video with you on YouTube:

DOG vs. BALLOON!!!!!!!!

this is a jack russell terrier poping ballons in 30 sec. will he do it?

Gotta like this title...

Fri, 25 Jul 2008 01:37:15 GMT

Truth is Treason in the Empire of Lies - http://freethemarketman.wordpress.com

Bad puns

Thu, 24 Jul 2008 21:28:42 GMT

----- Subject: HUMOR FOR LEXOPHILE (Lovers of words)

I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.

Police were called to a day care where a three-year-old was

resisting a rest.

Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off?

He's all right now.

To write with a broken pencil is pointless.

The short fortune teller who escaped from prison was a

small medium at large.

A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.

When the smog lifts in Los Angeles , U.C.L.A.

The math professor went crazy with the blackboard.

He did a number on it.

The professor discovered that her theory of earthquakes

was on shaky ground.

The dead batteries were given out free of charge.

A dentist and a manicurist fought tooth and nail.

A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired.

A will is a dead giveaway.

A backward poet writes inverse.

A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion.

With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.

A grenade fell onto a kitchen floor in France ,

resulted in linoleum blown apart.

He broke into song because he couldn't find the key.

A calendar's days are numbered.

A boiled egg is hard to beat.

If you jump off a Paris bridge, you are in Seine.

When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye.

Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.

Acupuncture: a jab well done.

RAGBRAI descends on Ames like horde of locusts

Wed, 23 Jul 2008 03:23:13 GMT

(On a sad note, it seems that upon leaving Ames, the RAGBRAI headed towards

Nevada, encountered a FALSE detour, whereupon the bicyclists ran over tacks

placed in the road by hooligans!! After fixing their flat tires they were back on

their way on the Registers Great Bike Assault Across Iowa. I was shocked, shocked!

By the behavior of the Nevada hooligans. Snort.)

RAGBRAI riders coming in to west Ames on

Ontario Street

Still coming, in fact they never stopped

RAGBRAI riders clogging traffic in Ames

RAGBRAI riders leaving Ames!

Not a RAGBRAI rider

Iowa hawk

Mon, 21 Jul 2008 23:59:16 GMT

Iowa hawk in west Ames

Hawkeyes Hawkeye's Hawkeye

B-17's over Ames

Mon, 21 Jul 2008 02:41:04 GMT

A B-17 was at the Ames Municipal Airport last week,

the week of July 14 - 20. A ride could be had for a

mere $450. Maybe not as outrageous a price as all that,

gas prices being what they are.

These were in town the week of July 15 - 20.

I understand they are less noisy and obnoxious

then the RAGBRAI coming this week.

'Boone Moon'

Fri, 18 Jul 2008 02:02:27 GMT

'Moon over Miami'

Thu, 17 Jul 2008 03:23:07 GMT

Need a push?

Wed, 16 Jul 2008 01:31:54 GMT

A man and his wife were awakened at 3:00 am by a loud
pounding on the door. The man gets up and goes to the
door where a drunken stranger, standing in the pouring
rain, is asking for a push.

'Not a chance,' says the husband, 'it is 3:00 in the
morning!'
He slams the door and returns to bed.

'Who was that?' asked his wife.

'Just some drunk guy asking for a push,' he answers.

'Did you help him?' she asks.

'No, I did not, it is 3:00 in the morning and it is
pouring rain out there!'

'Well, you have a short memory,' says his wife. 'Can't
you remember about three months ago when we broke down,
and those two guys helped us? I think you should help
him, and you should be ashamed of yourself!'

The man does as he is told, gets dressed, and goes out
into the pounding rain.

He calls out into the dark, 'Hello, are you still
there?'

'Yes,' comes back the answer.

'Do you still need a push?' calls out the husband.

'Yes, please!' comes the reply from the dark.

'Where are you?' asks the husband.

'Over here on the swing,' replied the drunk.

The tomato garden

Tue, 15 Jul 2008 01:00:00 GMT

THE ITALIAN TOMATO GARDEN

An Old Italian man lived alone in the country. He wanted to dig
his tomato garden, but it was very hard work as the ground was hard.

His only son, Vincent, who used to help him, was in prison.

The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament.

Dear Vincent,
I am feeling pretty badly because it looks like I won't be able
to plant my tomato garden this year. I'm just
getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. I know if you
were here my troubles would be over.

I know you would be happy to dig the plot for me.
Love, Dad

A few days later he received a letter from his son.

Dear Dad,
Don't dig up that garden. That's where I buried the bodies.
Love, Vinnie

At 4 a.m. the next morning, FBI agents and local police arrived
and dug up the entire area without finding any bodies. They apologized to
the old man and left.

The next day the old man received another letter from his son.

Dear Dad,
Go ahead and plant the tomatoes now. That's the best I could do
under the
circumstances.
Love you,
Vinnie

Do ya feel lucky punk?

Sun, 13 Jul 2008 16:11:29 GMT

What the hell is it?

Sun, 13 Jul 2008 03:20:15 GMT

Cat in the box

Thu, 26 Jun 2008 02:50:38 GMT

Ames Air Show, Bi-Planes

Thu, 19 Jun 2008 02:24:55 GMT

Barnstormers

El Gato

Tue, 17 Jun 2008 02:57:05 GMT

Potter Puppet Pals in "The Vortex"

Fri, 13 Jun 2008 01:11:49 GMT

linzr89 wants to share a video with you

watch video

Video Description

http://www.potterpuppetpals.com
Internal power conflicts in Hogwarts. Who will emerge the victor? Harry Potter.

Created by Neil and Emmy Cicierega, with puppeteering/stage help from Alora Lanzillotta, Emmy Cicierega, and Ryan Murphy.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y18LUMkVt2Y&feature=email

The Haircut

Tue, 03 Jun 2008 23:44:12 GMT

The Haircut

One day a florist goes to a barber for a haircut. After the cut he asked

about his bill and the barber replies, 'I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing

community service this week.' The florist was pleased and left the shop.

When the barber goes to open his shop the next morning there is a

'thank you' card and a dozen roses waiting for him at his door.

Later, a cop comes in for a haircut, and when he tries to pay his bill, the

barber again replies, 'I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing community

service this week.' The cop is happy and leaves the shop.

The next morning when the barber goes to open up there is a 'thank you'

card and a dozen donuts waiting for him at his door.
Later that day, a college professor comes in for a haircut, and when he tries

to pay his bill, the barber a gain replies, 'I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing

community service this week.' The professor is very happy and leaves the shop.

The next morning when the barber opens his shop, there is a 'thank you' card

and a dozen different books, such as 'How to Improve Your Business' and 'Becoming

More Successful.

Then, a Congressman comes in for a haircut, and when he goes to pay his

bill the barber again replies, 'I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing community

service this week.' The Congressman is very happy and leaves the shop.

The next morning when the barber goes to open up, there are a dozen

Congressmen lined up waiting for a free hair cut.

And that, my friends, illustrates the fundamental difference between the

citizens of our country and the members of our Congress.

Vote carefully this year.

Preacher humor

Tue, 27 May 2008 13:37:26 GMT

    A Preacher finished the service one morning by saying, "Next Sunday,
    I am going to preach on the subject of liars. As a preparation for my
    sermon, I would like you all to read Mark Chapter 17."

    On the following Sunday, the preacher rose to begin. Looking out at the
    congregation he said, "Last week I asked you all to read Mark
    Chapter 17. If you have read the chapter, please raise your hand."

    Nearly every hand in the congregation went up. Smiling, the preacher
    said, "You are the very people I want to talk to today"

    (Mark has only 16 chapters)

Dog humor

Tue, 27 May 2008 13:36:22 GMT

America in 1955

Mon, 26 May 2008 12:58:32 GMT

Comments made in the year 1955!
That's only 53 years ago!

'I'll tell you one thing, if things keep going the way they are, it's going to be

impossible to buy a week's groceries for $20.00.'

'Have you seen the new cars coming out next year? It won't be long before

$2, 000.00 will only buy a used one.'

'If cigarettes keep going up in price, I'm going to quit. A quarter a pack is ridiculous.

'Did you hear the post office is thinking about charging a dime just to mail a letter?'

'If they raise the minimum wage to $1.00, nobody will be able to hire outside help at the store.'

'When I first started driving, who would have thought gas would someday cost 29 cents

a gallon. Guess we'd be better off leaving the car in the garage.'

'I'm afraid to send my kids to the movies any more. Ever since they let Clark Gable get

by with saying DAMN in GONE WITH THE WIND, it seems every new movie has either

HELL or DAMN in it.'

'I read the other day where some scientist thinks it's possible to put a man on the moon

by the end of the century. They even have some fellows they call astronauts preparing

for it down in Texas .'

'Did you see where some baseball player just signed a contract for $75,000 a year just

to play ball? It wouldn't surprise me if someday they'll be making more than the President.'

'I never thought I'd see the day all our kitchen appliances would be electric. They are even

making electric typewriters now.'

'It's too bad things are so tough nowadays. I see where a few married women are having

to work to make ends meet.'

'It won't be long before young couples are going to have to hire someone to watch their

kids so they can both work.'

'I'm afraid the Volkswagen car is going to open the door to a whole lot of foreign business.'

'Thank goodness I won't live to see the day when the Government takes half our income

in taxes. I sometimes wonder if we are electing the best people to congress.'

'The drive-in restaurant is convenient in nice weather, but I seriously doubt they will ever

catch on.'

'There is no sense going to Lincoln or Omaha anymore for a weekend, it costs nearly

$15.00 a night to stay in a hotel.'

'No one can afford to be sick anymore, at $35.00 a day in the hospital it's too rich for my blood.'

'If they think I'll pay 50 cents for a hair cut, forget it.'

Mystery of the Ages... Reynolds wrap box

Mon, 26 May 2008 12:53:17 GMT

Subject: Reynolds Foil Box
Mystery
>>
>>     Did you know
this?   I surely didn't.   Why has it been such a secret

>> all these years?? You learn something new ever day and this is it
for
>> today!!
>>
>>   A friend sent this
to me much to my surprise. She said, have you ever
>> read the ends of
the Reynolds foil boxes. I scratched my head and said to
>> myself,
'Why would I be doing that?' Who ever looks at the end of your
>>
aluminum foil box? Well, here is why that brought to me a big,
DUH.
>>
>> I've been using aluminum foil for more years than I
care to remember.
>> Great stuff, but sometimes it can be a pain. You
know, like when you are
>> in the middle of doing something and you
try to pull some foil out and
>> the roll comes out of the box. Then
you have to put the roll back in the
>> box and start
over.   Well, guess what!
>>
>>
Yesterday, I went to throw out an empty Reynolds foil box and for some

>> reason I turned it and looked at the end of the box. Written on the
end
>> it says, 'PRESS HERE TO LOCK END.' Right there at both ends of
the box is
>> a tab to lock the roll in place. How long has those
little locking tab
>> been
there?
>>
>>    I then looked at a generic
brand of aluminum foil and it had one, too.
>> I then looked at a box
of Saran Wrap and it had one too. I can't count
>> the number of times
the Saran warp roll has jumped out when I was trying
>> to cover
something up.
>>
>>   Maybe this brings a DUH to you
as well and I hope this has helped you
>> too. If so, then, please go
ahead and share this with your friends as
>>
well.